So here I am, making myself a nice cup of earl grey tea, and thinking about my radio show (Playground of Possibilities ) and the episode I'm about to pre-record. And... BOOOM! There it is. Out of nowhere. Wanna know what the boom was?
Well fuck my old boots! Don't you just love those days when you get awarenesses of things that have been locking you up for years that just pop, seemingly out of nowhere and apropos of nothing you're thinking about or contemplating.
So here I am, making myself a nice cup of earl grey tea, and thinking about my radio show (Playground of Possibilities ) and the episode I'm about to pre-record. And... BOOOM! There it is. Out of nowhere. Wanna know what the boom was?
I have a capacity with kindness that is beyond anything I have ever acknowledged or could have imagined.
Yeah sure I thought I was being kind. I can't tell you the number of times people have been brought to tears by things I've done for them - and I don't mean tears of pain and anger here. I mean tears of gratitude and joy. I kind of stood there not really getting it. Not really willing to acknowledge just how kind I had been. Because, for me, what I did was so natural and so normal. And after all, isn't kindness something that's huge and has bells and whistles and fireworks and where you end up actually in detriment as a result. I completely I get that I've bastardised kindness to mean I have to have been mean to me for it to have been true kindness!
And here's the next rub... I've been truly kind to some people in my life who couldn't receive it. So when it came back to bit me on the ass I thought I'd done kindness wrong, or hadn't been kind and so made myself wrong for it! Cute but not bright eh?!
I realise I have been living most of my life in the fantasy that if I'm kind to people they will receive it AND that they will in turn be kind to me. You can imagine the crap that's created for me! My unwillingness to be aware of what people could receive AND my unwillingness to acknowledge the true and phenomenal kindness I Be has fucked me over more times than a prostitute on a busy work night!
So.... there it is. Awareness. What did I get from all this? Another nudge to a) acknowledge just how freaking awesome I am, and b) to ask a bloody question about what people can receive!
When it comes to your body, what bits of it do you enjoy and appreciate? All of them? Some of them? None of them?
So, men, when it comes to your cock, how much do you enjoy and appreciate it? Is it just something functional that allows you to pee or have sex? Imagine how you'd feel if everyone treated you as something that is either a unit for disposing of what is not wanted, or something to give them pleasure. When was the last time you actually explored, caressed, and nurtured your cock and balls?
Which brings me to another point - how do you refer to your "bits"? Do you have particular euphemisms? Are you embarrassed to even refer to them as "penis and testicles"? I hear many men refer to it as "downstairs", "little man" "unmentionable" "privates" "manhood", "crown jewels" and even "junk". There is no judgment here from me - I just wonder how much appreciation there is of your cock and balls if you refer to them as your "junk"? Isn't junk something that's worthless that you'd you'd like to get rid off?
When it comes to appreciating your cock and balls, what if that doesn't have to mean masturbating until you cum? Yes of course that can be a lot of fun and totally nurturing too. What if it's not the only way of pleasuring and appreciating yourself? Many men masturbate with the sole intention of getting to orgasm as quickly as they can. What if you allowed yourself to masturbate slowly, over a prolonged period? What if you got really curious about what your body really enjoys? What if you stopped making yourself wrong for touching yourself? What if it's not "dirty" to caress yourself with affection?
There are so many judgments about the penis. "it's ugly", "it's wrinkly" "its dirty", it's beautiful, it's sexy, and so on. And for the love of god, when will men let go of the need to keep judging their cock in relation to its size! How do you feel when someone judges you as being too big, too small, too thin, or too fat? Not great right?
At what age did you learn that judging your cock was what was required in order to fit into this world? At what age did you give up enjoying and appreciating your cock just because it was fun? When was the last time you spent time just appreciating your cock and without forcing yourself to the point of ejaculation?
Is now the time to reacquaint yourself with your penis? I wonder how grateful and appreciating your whole body would be if you did? I wonder how much more joy you could have in your life if you would appreciate your cock and honour its desires more than you ever have before? Is now the time to get naked and explore playing with you?
Absolutely right. You can't lose weight.
What the fuck?!
Truth: are you an infinite Being with physical body, or are you just a physical body?
For me, what feels true for me is that I am an infinite Being with a physical body. Taking that as our premise for this blog, who has the extra weight that you'd like to lose, you the infinite being or your physical body?
As an infinite Being, is there anywhere you are not? And is there anything you do not know? So if you the infinite being are everywhere and know everything, can you ever lose anything?
Following a different perspective, does my body lose weight, or does it transform it's shape and mass? and what if my body can be any shape it would like to be? Indeed, have you even asked your body what shape it would like to be? What if the shape of your body has absolutely fuck all to do with how much it appears to weigh?
So when it comes to telling myself "I cannot lose weight" I am absolutely correct. So do I just give up and keep on judging myself as useless, fat, and unable to have the body I desire? Or do I ask some questions? What I if I can also choose something different. what if I can let go of all my fixed points of view about weight, heaviness, body shape, and how easy it is to change and transform my physical body? What if I can ask my body what shape and weight IT desires? What if i can ask my body what it requires and desires to assist it to be the shape and weight it desires? What else is possible here that we've never even considered? What questions can you ask that will gift you more ease, communion, and joy with your physical body? But don't ever choose that eh... you might actually change the shape of your body with more ease than ever before than that would be really bad.
Ever heard anyone tell you that "where there's muck there's money"?, or maybe "where there's muck there's brass"?
In many ways this could actually be true. Let's say, for instance, you own horses. You could potentially sell the horse poo (manure) and make shitloads (literally!) of money!
However, is there always money where there's muck?
See I wonder where we've mis-identified and and mis-applied that saying to mean that wherever there's crap there's money? And to take that further, because we've sometimes mis-identified and mis-applied it as ALWAYS being the case, how often have we (and do we!) create crap in our life in the hope it will make us money?
What if, instead of concluding that ALL doodoo creates dosh, what if we could ask a question instead? A question like "truth, will this make me money?" Simple as that. "Truth, will choosing this, or creating this, make me money?". Then you follow the lightness. Sometimes doodoo will create dosh, and sometimes it won't. What would it take for us always to trust our awareness? Are you willing to make the demand of you always to ask a question, and to trust your awareness regardless of what other people are choosing?
So... where there's poo in your life right now - is it making you money? If not, is now the time to flush it away before you get totally buried by it?
When it comes to committing to you and your life and what you would like to create as your life, have you committed to it yet?
So many awarenesses and places this blog could go!
I'm going to start with this one: where am I lying to myself!
So for the last 6 months to a year I've been asking the Universe to show me everywhere I'm lying to myself. Seems committing to me and my life is one of them! Damn - and I really thought I'd been doing that for the last 6 months too!
Rather than go into judgment of me, I asked a question - what's stopping me from committing to myself and my life? The awareness I had this morning: I'm waiting for it to be perfectly the way I would like it to be and then I'll commit. Doh! that's cute and not bright!
When you buy (or move into) a new home, you don't expect it to be perfect already right? You move in and change the decor and garden etc according to your taste and preferences after. It's very rare to find a home you can move straight into and it will be perfect from the very second you enter. For starters you still need to put your furniture in the places you'd like it to be. It's an ongoing process of enjoying your home.
And have you ever noticed that it never stays "perfect"? Things require attention and maintenance. Things require cleaning and replacing. It never stays exactly the same. And what if this constant change IS perfection? Nothing ever really stays the same, much as we sometimes wish it would. That's the route to self-sabotage, stagnation, and self-destruction. Except we're infinite beings and can never be destroyed. Thus we can find ourselves sitting in a box that we created that we absolutely know is not fun. How long will we continue to choose that for? How long will we wait for things to change before we allow ourselves to create and have more fun?
What if committing to our life is part of this constant change and creation? And what if we let go of all the expectations about what our life "should" look like before we allow ourselves to enjoy it? What would that create for the world? What doors of possibilities would that open up? What would happen if we actually stopped judging our life as not perfect and/or "not quite perfect yet"?
Life is not something we create as "perfect' and then settle down to stagnate. Although I know it's possible to get caught up in that way of thinking.
So what happens next? We have this awareness and what do we do with it? What else is possible here beyond anything we've never considered before?
Are you willing to make the demand of you to commit to you and your life no matter what? Universe show me what my life would be like if I would totally commit to my life... What's it going to take to commit totally to my life? What amazing contribution would it be if I would commit totally to my life right away?
Is now the time for you to stop waiting for everything to be perfect and instead to acknowledge that everything is already perfection?
So there I was trying to get my mouse to work this morning and would it go in the direction I required it to go? Would it buggery!
I felt myself going into frustration! "what's wrong with this fucking mouse?" And the question there is?! Errm - that'll be a conclusion with a question mark attached....
Feeling the frustration I realised I was getting into conclusion and contraction. So I asked: OK so what's right about this I'm not getting? Which is a great question and very different to "what's wrong with me?" which is where I would have gone in the past.
Took my hand off the mouse to inspect it (it's a wireless mouse for an iMac) and noticed I had the mouse upside down! bahahaha!! The power of questions overcomes stupidity ;-)
So if things aren't quite going the way you'd like right now, what's right about it you're not getting? What information do you require to change it or create something different? What else is possible that you've never considered? What questions can you ask that will contribute to you and what you've got going on for you right now?
When it comes to creating your reality, whose points of view are you creating yours from?
Let me backtrack.
Our points of view are literally just that - our points of view. They create our own reality not other people's, and vice versa.
Bearing that in mind then, when someone tells you that there's something wrong with you, you get that it's just their point of view right? The only time it ever becomes real for you is when you try to adopt that point of view as your own and try make it your reality. You cannot share the same reality with anyone else. EVER. So is the only things that are ever "wrong" with you are the things you've bought as true.
"wrongness" is just a point of view, and it's a judgment. And judgments are never real.
So how many other peoples' points of view and judgments about you have you bought as your own that are not really true for you? How much are you trying to create your life from other people's points of view that are not true for you, so they don't actually work, and then you blame yourself?
What's true for you? Have you ever questioned what you believe are you points of view about you, your life, and your reality? Take a moment and bring to mind a point of view you have about you that you've believed is a wrongness about you - doesn't matter what it is. Does it feel light and spacious/expansive or heavy and contracted/limited to you?
What's true for you will always feel light, and what's not true for you will always feel heavy.
What if there is nothing wrong with you? What if there never has been anything wrong with you? What if you don't need to keep buying as your own other people's points of view about you or themselves?
Who would you be and how would your life be different if you were totally aware of what's true for you and created your life from that space? But don't do that - you might have too much fun!
When I was a small boy I used to visit the zoo with my family. At first I used to get excited about seeing all the wild and exotic animals caged up in limited space, being stared at by other people.
After the first visit I didn't get so excited any more. For me, seeing those animals in limited space wasn't fun or exciting. I used to ask questions about "where do they live normally?" and "why can't they just live in the wild?" and "why can't they have more space to live in?". I was quickly told to shush and stop asking stupid questions.
After all these years I wonder who was most caged up, locked up, and imprisoned... the animals, or the people watching them!
After many years of people campaigning, zoos in the UK are nearly non-existent, and those that do exist create much greater space and better living environments for the animals in them.
This blog is not about the rightness or wrongness of putting animals in zoos. So let me take you to where I'm headed....
The long and short of it is - we realised that putting animals in small spaces that are not natural to them wasn't the greatest kindness.
However - we continue to limit ourselves. Do you get that? We pop ourselves in these invisible cages of limitation and no-choice no-possibility and try to live our life from there. And how's that working for you? How big is your cage of limitation?
You can bet your sweet ass you wouldn't put animals in the size of cages we try to squeeze ourselves into - which doesn't work by the way! It just creates unhappiness, dis-ease in the body, and limits the contribution we can gift and receive to the entire world.
What greater kindness can you be to yourself and the world than to stop trying to put yourself into a zoo of limitation. Is it really your greatest contribution to the world to keep yourself limited and pretending you're a victim? I heard someone say once "We're infinite Beings - let's get the fuck on with it!". True story!
So would you be willing to unlock the cage of limitation, no-choice, and no-possibility that you keep yourself locked up in? Would you be willing to open the door, step out, and Be the Infinite Being you truly Be? Would you be willing to Know that you Know that the cage you've been putting yourself in is a great big buggery bollocks illusion in the first place?
You know it's OK if you don't. You can keep living in your tiny zoo cage if you like. Forgive me if I don't come to spectate. Forgive me if I don't feel sorry for you. Forgive me if I don't join you. Actually forgive me or not - I'm just not choosing that any more.
What invitation can our stepping out of the cage of limitation Be for others? What else would be possible in the world if we would choose to let go of limiting ourselves and pretending we are small and powerless?
Is now the time to let go of limiting you?
I love those moments when awareness all comes together giving you an awesome "aha!" moment! Here's today's musing for you to play with.
So here I've been going all my life trying to understand what other people think is great about me and what I do, and what they like about me so that I can do and be more of it.
Coming from a background of Human Resources/Personnel and consultancy, and even at school, I had it drummed into me about how key and important and vital and valuable other people's feedback about me should be to me.
This blog is not going to be about trying to disprove that. What my aim is here is to offer and invite you to another reality and perspective.
First thing to be aware of here is that when we "try to understand" where other people are coming from, we actually place ourselves under them and their reality. The result of which we become entrenched and governed by their reality of life. You see, we ALL live in a different reality. My reality is not the same as yours or anyone else's, and neither is yours, and neither is anyone else's. When we try to understand, we place ourselves in someone else's reality which will, to be blunt, make no fucking sense to us at all! And if we're not willing to be aware of where we've done that, that's when life becomes more challenging, limited, and painful and we have no bloomin' idea why! Nothing ever works the way it did before. doh! Course not - coz we've dropped into someone else's way of perceiving and creating life!
So how many people's realities are you currently living under because you've tried or are trying to understand them? And how's that working for you?! What's your reality for you?
The next thing to be aware of here is whether we are willing to do and Be whatever it takes that is the greatest kindness and that will create the most for everyone. Sounds straight forward doesn't it? That is until you start to try and define what kindness is. Just like our reality, the definition of kindness is going to be slightly different for everyone. Is it a kindness to keep giving someone a fish, or teach them to fish? Or perhaps you do a bit of both? Maybe you tell them they shouldn't eat fish at all and teach them to grow and eat only vegetables! The possibilities here are endless! And do you see - what one might perceive as kind, others might not.
The same goes for what people perceive as "greatness". What one person may perceive as being great, someone else will perceive it differently. If all you do is try to understand what people around you think is great about you (bearing in mind they all have a different point of view!) you're going to confuse and stress yourself! The more you try to make everyone like you, the more you're going to piss them all off!
Plus if you always do what people have told you is great about you, regardless of what's going on around you - will that be the greatest contribution?! If people tell you it's great that you have such a loud voice as they can hear you clearly and you choose then only to speak loudly, what happens when you're somewhere where whispers, quieter voices, or even no speaking would create the most? Silly metaphor but you get my drift I'm sure.
What if you were willing to live curiously and ask a question? What if you were willing to trust your own awareness ALL THE TIME? What if you were willing to ask a few questions, such as:
Receiving other people's judgments of you in total awareness and allowance of them AND YOU is key here. What's true for you? Are you great or are you a worthless piece of poo? And do have you decided and concluded you need other people to confirm one way or the other before you acknowledge just how fucking awesome and great you truly Be?
When it comes to you and your business, have you decided what kinds of people you will and will not work with?
Now it may well seem sensible and a good idea to be picky about who you will work with.
For instance, you may choose never to work with convicted criminals, or people who earn below a certain amount of money, or people who come from a particular background, or black people, or americans, or gay people, or disabled people, or men, or women, or people below or above a certain age.
What criteria are you using? And how is that contributing to your business? Is it working well for you?
Now this blog is not about the rights and wrongs of discrimination. It's about getting you to be aware of the criteria you are using that could well be limiting just how successful your business AND life is.
What? Whoa now. Wait a minute! Did I just say "life"?
You betcha sweet ass I did!
People use criteria to choose who they will and will not gift and receive contribution to and from in all areas of their life - whether they are aware of it or not. What if you had no criteria at all? What if you had no judgment? What if you were willing to gift and receive to and from everyone and everything? Bearing in mind - being willing does not mean you have to choose it.
You see here's the thing..... if you have a set of criteria that keeps "convicted criminals" from your life and business, what about someone who's convicted for shoplifting because he/she was trying to feed his/her family? What about someone who took drugs in their youth and was convicted for it but never done it since? what about someone who's been to court for being bankrupt? What about someone who was convicted wrongly for a crime and was later found not guilty?
Do you see? If you carte blanche say no to people with convictions - who are you cutting out of your life and business who could be a phenomenal contribution to you?
This is where it gets even more whacky... how many lifetimes have you been and done all the things you have decided in this life you will not have in your life? How many lifetimes have you been rich, poor, murdered, raped, been a woman, or a man, been a catholic, been a muslim, been american, been a lesbian, been black and so on.... What if there is nothing you have not been or done in some form in other lives you've had? And what if that's the same for EVERYONE? So if everyone has done all the things in one lifetime or another that you've now decided you will not receive in this life, how many people can come to you to gift and receive contribution to and from you?
Now you may well have a preference for working with a particular group of people - and that's totally cool. Great stuff! What if that doesn't preclude you working with others if that would create something awesome and phenomenal for everyone involved?
Are you willing to ask the question: what criteria am I using to limit from whom and how much I can gift and receive?
You see it's not until you're aware of what criteria you're using that you can start to be aware of whether that is actually contributing to or limiting your life.
What else would be possible for you, your life, and your business if you didn't use selection criteria to be the ultimate decider about whether you will or will not gift to or receive from someone or something? What else would be possible for you if you were willing to gift to and receive from everyone and everything?
So let me leave you with the question again.... what criteria am I using to limit from whom and how much I can gift and receive ?