I could go back and trace where I picked up those judgments as real and true for me. I could change them... any time I like. No matter how many lies I tell myself that:
- "I cannot change it"
- "It's too hard to change"
- "That's just the way things are"
- "It's far too late to change them now"
- "I just have to live with it and make the best of it"
- "Nobody will like me if I do change things"
What I've found is, all those reasons and justifications are only as real as I choose to make them. What I've also found to be true for me is, they cover up the truth that I've just not been willing to choose something different.
It's really that simple.
You choose it until you don't.
When you're ready and willing to choose something different, all those reasons and justifications for keeping things the way they are fall away. There is no "right" or "wrong" time to choose something different. You choose it when you choose it.
The thing is, in this reality and world we're taught to judge ourselves as harshly as we can until we do choose what the world tells you should choose to make your life and the world a better place. Question: Has judging you ever created the change you desired to create? For me, the answer to that is a big fat NO! The more I judge myself, the more harshly I judge myself, I find the more I lock into place the things I've been telling myself I should change. Well what if I don't have to change anything. Ever.
Yup. You don't have to change ANYTHING about you. EVER. It's just a choice.
What I've found to be true for me is that the only times I choose change, is when I'm truly inspired and lit up by what I'm aware of that the choice to change will create. For example: I don't need to change my body shape... What I can do is be in total allowance with it no matter what it looks like. For me, it creates much more ease and joy in my life when I'm not judging my body in any way at all, and just receive it. When I don't judge myself and my business, or "should" on myself about what I've been told I "should" be doing to have a successful business, I get to have greater awareness of what my business actually requires. I get to choose what would be most fun for me that will create the most.
Do you get that every time you judge yourself you contract you and how visible you are in the world? Do you get that every time you judge yourself you limit what you can receive AND you limit the gift you can be in the world.
This is not about a "cost/benefit comparison". It's about looking at what your choice to judge you incessantly is creating. And is it fun for you? Is it ease for you? Does it expand your life? Do you value making yourself small, insignificant, powerless, and impotent more than you value being your greatness, and infinite potency to create the life you desire with ease, joy, and glory?
And you know what...?
It's OK if you're not willing to choose the latter right now. You don't have to choose to make your life look like it's come from the same cookie cutter as other people. You're not broken, bad, or wrong, because your life looks different. You don't have to spend countless hours judging you and cutting bits off to try and make yourself look like you were cut from the same cookie cutter as those around you. But you can if you like. It's not wrong.
Just for today, just because you can, I invite you to get really aware about where you are judging the crap out of yourself and get curious about what else would be possible for you if you didn't. You don't have to change anything. Just get kindly curious about it.
For me, I've made the demand to stop judging myself for anything. I've made the demand of me to stop making judgment real, relevant, and significant. For me... now IS the time. I KNOW that I am a greater gift and contribution to the world when I stop judging me and when I let go of making judgment real and relevant. Are you willing to make that demand of you... no matter what it takes?