I love those moments when awareness all comes together giving you an awesome "aha!" moment! Here's today's musing for you to play with.
So here I've been going all my life trying to understand what other people think is great about me and what I do, and what they like about me so that I can do and be more of it.
Coming from a background of Human Resources/Personnel and consultancy, and even at school, I had it drummed into me about how key and important and vital and valuable other people's feedback about me should be to me.
This blog is not going to be about trying to disprove that. What my aim is here is to offer and invite you to another reality and perspective.
First thing to be aware of here is that when we "try to understand" where other people are coming from, we actually place ourselves under them and their reality. The result of which we become entrenched and governed by their reality of life. You see, we ALL live in a different reality. My reality is not the same as yours or anyone else's, and neither is yours, and neither is anyone else's. When we try to understand, we place ourselves in someone else's reality which will, to be blunt, make no fucking sense to us at all! And if we're not willing to be aware of where we've done that, that's when life becomes more challenging, limited, and painful and we have no bloomin' idea why! Nothing ever works the way it did before. doh! Course not - coz we've dropped into someone else's way of perceiving and creating life!
So how many people's realities are you currently living under because you've tried or are trying to understand them? And how's that working for you?! What's your reality for you?
The next thing to be aware of here is whether we are willing to do and Be whatever it takes that is the greatest kindness and that will create the most for everyone. Sounds straight forward doesn't it? That is until you start to try and define what kindness is. Just like our reality, the definition of kindness is going to be slightly different for everyone. Is it a kindness to keep giving someone a fish, or teach them to fish? Or perhaps you do a bit of both? Maybe you tell them they shouldn't eat fish at all and teach them to grow and eat only vegetables! The possibilities here are endless! And do you see - what one might perceive as kind, others might not.
The same goes for what people perceive as "greatness". What one person may perceive as being great, someone else will perceive it differently. If all you do is try to understand what people around you think is great about you (bearing in mind they all have a different point of view!) you're going to confuse and stress yourself! The more you try to make everyone like you, the more you're going to piss them all off!
Plus if you always do what people have told you is great about you, regardless of what's going on around you - will that be the greatest contribution?! If people tell you it's great that you have such a loud voice as they can hear you clearly and you choose then only to speak loudly, what happens when you're somewhere where whispers, quieter voices, or even no speaking would create the most? Silly metaphor but you get my drift I'm sure.
What if you were willing to live curiously and ask a question? What if you were willing to trust your own awareness ALL THE TIME? What if you were willing to ask a few questions, such as:
- "What can I choose here that will be the greatest contribution to everyone, including me?"
- "What can i choose here that will be the greatest kindness to me and everyone else?"
- "What's required here that will create the most?"
- "Do I require any other information?"
Receiving other people's judgments of you in total awareness and allowance of them AND YOU is key here. What's true for you? Are you great or are you a worthless piece of poo? And do have you decided and concluded you need other people to confirm one way or the other before you acknowledge just how fucking awesome and great you truly Be?