I don't know how familiar you are with the term "edging" so I'll start by giving you a brief explanation...
Edging is where you sexually stimulate someone (you or someone else) to the brink of orgasm. It can take a lot of self control, focus, and attention to keep someone just on the edge, but never going over. It can feel enormously enjoyable, and at the same time incredibly frustrating! Aching to explode, but never quite allowing yourself (or someone else) to reach and experience the climax. Often, when you do get to orgasm, you're so exhausted from the whole edging experience that, although it can feel wonderful, you don't feel like doing anything else until you recover sufficiently. Often the orgasm, when it comes, can be more intense than if you don't edge before it. For men, the force of the ejaculation can be stronger, and more, shall we say, "plentiful".
So why am I talking about? Basically I was wondering about this as edging is something I do particularly enjoy. Both doing to myself and to others. It got me to pondering... where am I doing this in my life? Where am I keeping myself on the brink of delicious, creative, expansive, abundant, yummy, joy-filled screaming orgasm? Where do I keep my creations just on the edge of orgasmic explosion and actualisation? Where am I trying to build up so much creative energy until I've decided I've reached the pinnacle of when would be the best time to "let it go" to the point that I never actually allow it to actualise? Do you get what I'm saying?
It's like we get caught up in the frustration/pleasure of the build up to creating, and almost become so addicted to it, that we never allow it to come to fruition (no pun intended!). Or we keep pushing it to see how long we can last before we allow ourselves to experience that joyful explosion, whether it is a kindness to us, our lives, or the world to keep everyone hanging on. There is also the point of view that, once the explosion has actually taken place, it will all be over really quickly and then you'll have to spend ages recovering, and then have to rebuild up to get to the point where you can experience it again.
So what else is possible here? What if it's possible to have fun edging sometimes without becoming so addicted to it, or fearful of the climax that you can create your life with more ease? And what if it's totally possible to experience that intensity of joy and pleasure without the life-long build up? And what if you don't have to be totally and utterly exhausted after the creative explosion so that you can immediately go on to the next creation? And what if you can create multiply at the same time - so you edge some creations whilst actualising others? And, if you never have tried edging, maybe it's a creative juicy experience that you'd like to play with and explore? What would be most fun for you and your life creation?
What targets and aims do you have for this month? Have you set any? Or do you shy away from them?
I know for many that they really resist setting "goals" for themselves. Interesting isn't it that the word gaols is so very similar. Gaols = old english for jails. and what if targets and aims are not goals? Gaols/jails are stationary, static, and immovable. Whereas targets and aims can be adjusted many times.
You see the thing with having aims and targets is that they are signals to the Universe of what you are choosing to create. It communicates to the Universe where you're headed so that it can do all the necessary stuff to contribute to you arriving there.
The thing with targets too is that they are not necessarily linear and neither do they require you to not deviate. A metaphor might assist here:
When an aeroplane takes off it has a target destination. It doesn't just fly directly, straight to the target. The plane is always adjusting to account for changes in conditions - wind, weather, other aeroplanes! And also, if you fly from, say, London to South Africa, you may flight to one place to pick up a connecting flight to your target destination. Indeed, there are two targets there, one leading to the other. AND you may even decide not to follow on from your first target to your second.
Everything is malleable and changeable. Each choice takes you nearer or further from your target and respond to whatever is going on around you in that moment and be aware of what is coming up. . If you choose in 10-second increments, you can stay ahead of "the weather" and always be in awareness of what you can choose that will be most fun and create the most for you.
How much fun can you have setting the energy in motion for what you'd like to create and actualise in and as your life by setting some targets and aims? And what if you don't have to make it all meaningful and significant? What if setting targets and aims could be as delicious and exciting as booking a holiday, or booking a table for dinner, or ordering something delicious in a restaurant, or asking for something you desire in a shop?
Working with a coach or facilitator can really contribute to choosing and setting your aims and targets... Even as I coach and facilitator myself I work with facilitator. I find it a really fun way of getting clear on what I desire in my life and what's required to achieve it. And you know what? It's a bloody lot more fun having someone help me with it than struggling with it on my own!
Absolutely right. You can't lose weight.
What the fuck?!
Truth: are you an infinite Being with physical body, or are you just a physical body?
For me, what feels true for me is that I am an infinite Being with a physical body. Taking that as our premise for this blog, who has the extra weight that you'd like to lose, you the infinite being or your physical body?
As an infinite Being, is there anywhere you are not? And is there anything you do not know? So if you the infinite being are everywhere and know everything, can you ever lose anything?
Following a different perspective, does my body lose weight, or does it transform it's shape and mass? and what if my body can be any shape it would like to be? Indeed, have you even asked your body what shape it would like to be? What if the shape of your body has absolutely fuck all to do with how much it appears to weigh?
So when it comes to telling myself "I cannot lose weight" I am absolutely correct. So do I just give up and keep on judging myself as useless, fat, and unable to have the body I desire? Or do I ask some questions? What I if I can also choose something different. what if I can let go of all my fixed points of view about weight, heaviness, body shape, and how easy it is to change and transform my physical body? What if I can ask my body what shape and weight IT desires? What if i can ask my body what it requires and desires to assist it to be the shape and weight it desires? What else is possible here that we've never even considered? What questions can you ask that will gift you more ease, communion, and joy with your physical body? But don't ever choose that eh... you might actually change the shape of your body with more ease than ever before than that would be really bad.
When it comes to committing to you and your life and what you would like to create as your life, have you committed to it yet?
So many awarenesses and places this blog could go!
I'm going to start with this one: where am I lying to myself!
So for the last 6 months to a year I've been asking the Universe to show me everywhere I'm lying to myself. Seems committing to me and my life is one of them! Damn - and I really thought I'd been doing that for the last 6 months too!
Rather than go into judgment of me, I asked a question - what's stopping me from committing to myself and my life? The awareness I had this morning: I'm waiting for it to be perfectly the way I would like it to be and then I'll commit. Doh! that's cute and not bright!
When you buy (or move into) a new home, you don't expect it to be perfect already right? You move in and change the decor and garden etc according to your taste and preferences after. It's very rare to find a home you can move straight into and it will be perfect from the very second you enter. For starters you still need to put your furniture in the places you'd like it to be. It's an ongoing process of enjoying your home.
And have you ever noticed that it never stays "perfect"? Things require attention and maintenance. Things require cleaning and replacing. It never stays exactly the same. And what if this constant change IS perfection? Nothing ever really stays the same, much as we sometimes wish it would. That's the route to self-sabotage, stagnation, and self-destruction. Except we're infinite beings and can never be destroyed. Thus we can find ourselves sitting in a box that we created that we absolutely know is not fun. How long will we continue to choose that for? How long will we wait for things to change before we allow ourselves to create and have more fun?
What if committing to our life is part of this constant change and creation? And what if we let go of all the expectations about what our life "should" look like before we allow ourselves to enjoy it? What would that create for the world? What doors of possibilities would that open up? What would happen if we actually stopped judging our life as not perfect and/or "not quite perfect yet"?
Life is not something we create as "perfect' and then settle down to stagnate. Although I know it's possible to get caught up in that way of thinking.
So what happens next? We have this awareness and what do we do with it? What else is possible here beyond anything we've never considered before?
Are you willing to make the demand of you to commit to you and your life no matter what? Universe show me what my life would be like if I would totally commit to my life... What's it going to take to commit totally to my life? What amazing contribution would it be if I would commit totally to my life right away?
Is now the time for you to stop waiting for everything to be perfect and instead to acknowledge that everything is already perfection?
When it comes to creating your reality, whose points of view are you creating yours from?
Let me backtrack.
Our points of view are literally just that - our points of view. They create our own reality not other people's, and vice versa.
Bearing that in mind then, when someone tells you that there's something wrong with you, you get that it's just their point of view right? The only time it ever becomes real for you is when you try to adopt that point of view as your own and try make it your reality. You cannot share the same reality with anyone else. EVER. So is the only things that are ever "wrong" with you are the things you've bought as true.
"wrongness" is just a point of view, and it's a judgment. And judgments are never real.
So how many other peoples' points of view and judgments about you have you bought as your own that are not really true for you? How much are you trying to create your life from other people's points of view that are not true for you, so they don't actually work, and then you blame yourself?
What's true for you? Have you ever questioned what you believe are you points of view about you, your life, and your reality? Take a moment and bring to mind a point of view you have about you that you've believed is a wrongness about you - doesn't matter what it is. Does it feel light and spacious/expansive or heavy and contracted/limited to you?
What's true for you will always feel light, and what's not true for you will always feel heavy.
What if there is nothing wrong with you? What if there never has been anything wrong with you? What if you don't need to keep buying as your own other people's points of view about you or themselves?
Who would you be and how would your life be different if you were totally aware of what's true for you and created your life from that space? But don't do that - you might have too much fun!
You remember how it feels when you start a new job that you really wanted? Excited to be starting something new. Proud of yourself for having got through the interview and selection process. Slightly in doubt about whether you can really do the job at all. Slightly worried about what your new colleagues will be like. Hopeful that your boss doesn't turn out to be a complete arse. Feeling great that you'll be earning more money. Looking forward to learning new skills and honing the ones you have.
Well..... that's how I'm kind of feeling today! It's a similar feeling I had when I left the corporate world of Banking and Human Resources to start my own business. Ironically I still have my own business.
I was wondering to myself this morning about why I'm feeling this way. I haven't started a new job. Or have I? So I started asking some questions (thank goodness for Access Consciousness and the gift of Gary Douglas and Dain Heer!).
- What is this?
- What can I do with it?
- What's right about this I'm not getting?
- What else is possible?
- What contribution is this to my life?
- What am I choosing?
- What am I creating?
- If I continue choosing and creating this, what will my life be like in 5 years?
- If I don't continue choosing and creating this, what will my life be like in 5 years?
I got the awareness that I'm choosing and creating something greater. I also remembered that I had been asking lots of questions last year about creating something greater and changing my life from creating the same old crap, year after year. I had almost begun despairing that things didn't appear to be changing.... except.... they were. It's just that a) it wasn't completely obvious how they were changing and b) the change isn't showing up at all how I excepted it to! Does it ever?!
I wonder how often we give up on something we're choosing to create or change because it doesn't appear to change quickly enough or show up the way we expected it? Ever done that? Then we have the tendency to slip into the belief that "it just wasn't meant to happen". Or even worse, we judge ourselves as a failure, being stupid and a failure at everything we do. Ever been there? And how heavy does that feel? It's a big lie that's why it feels heavy!
You know what I've realised over my life is that it's that moment when we're just about to give up that we need to keep going. Digging for miles to give up with just a few inches left until breakthrough...
And that's why I love the Access Consciousness tools, questions, and processes. They help me have such ease with creating my life. One of the greatest things I've got from Access Consciousness (and there are many many things I have got and continue to get from it) is always being in the question.
What is this? What can I do with it? Can I change it? If so how do I change it? What else is possible? How can it get any better than this?
These are just some of the questions that I use every day. They create more available possibilities for me. And you know what? The more I choose to create more, question more, and Be more, the greater the contribution I am to the world.
So yes, I've got a new role. Being me in totality! I wonder if you would like to Be you in totality too? I wonder what a gift and contribution that would be for you and the world if you were to choose it? Like to know how to do that? Ask some questions... and if you need help with that, either contact me
for a session or popover to the Access Consciousness website
where you can find all sorts of information and free videos to help you begin changing your life with ease.
Let me leave you with these questions:
If you would choose to be you in totality, who would you Be and how would your life be different?
If you would choose to be you in totality, what contribution could that be to you, your life, your living, and your reality?
If you would choose to be you in totality, how much more fun could you have in your life?
Backing up.... a great idea for our computers and files. I've been there myself where I haven't backed up data and it's caused me hours of recreation of things! So... backing up is a great idea and essential, yes? For everything? I wonder....
I received a spammy email in my inbox this morning entitled "back up your life". The moment I read those words a whole heap of awareness flashed through my mind causing me to say quite loudly "Oh buggery fuck!". Why did that cause consternation you may wonder?
Well in that nanosecond of reading that email title I had the awareness that I've had this energetic programme running on default that backs up everything I experience. That way, my Being would never forget or miss a single experience, thus ensuring
- that I have access to everything that's every happened to me
- that I remember every wonderful experience and so can appreciate them more
- that I remember every "mistake" I've ever made thus ensuring I never make the same one again
- that I remember who I am so that I can "know my place and purpose in life"
- I can continue to grow and not do the same things more than once thinking that I'm doing them for the first time
- that I have something to reflect back over to guide me in how to create my life going forward
There's so much limitation in that for me! I also realised I have another energetic programme running that each day restores any older information that got deleted or changed the day before. Sounds sensible... except... what if that data is no longer relevant or is found to be inaccurate? And what if it was never relevant or accurate at all?!
Do we really want to keep trying to create our lives by reflecting upon the past? What if we can create our lives in the moment by being aware of what possibilities exist for us right now? What if each choice we make creates and opens up different possibilities?
I realised how much importance, relevance, significance, and meaning we place upon past events to guide us in creating our present and future. No wonder change can sometimes take so fucking long if all we're doing is rehashing old backups from the past!
And look at the words themselves "back up". Back up. BACK UP. In other words... go backwards! Nooooo! Now of course you might want to back up your car if it's about to drop into a ditch! But in the case of "backing up your life" do you really want to keep backing up to a previous place of less awareness and choice?
Would you be willing to delete and destroy ALL backups you've taken for this life and ALL your lives wherever they have been? And would you be willing to delete and destroy ALL backups of backups and ALL other "failsafes" you've put in place for this life and ALL your lives wherever they have been?
What would your life be like if you would be willing to function and create your life from pure energy, space, and consciousness ? Are you willing to create and choose your life from limitless possibilities?