Like many people, for much of my life I've struggled with a few things that I have, for whatever reason, judged as broken, bad, wrong, or just plain stupid!
I could go back and trace where I picked up those judgments as real and true for me. I could change them... any time I like. No matter how many lies I tell myself that:

  • "I cannot change it"
  • "It's too hard to change"
  • "That's just the way things are"
  • "It's far too late to change them now"
  • "I just have to live with it and make the best of it"
  • "Nobody will like me if I do change things"

What I've found is, all those reasons and justifications are only as real as I choose to make them. What I've also found to be true for me is, they cover up the truth that I've just not been willing to choose something different.

It's really that simple.

You choose it until you don't.

When you're ready and willing to choose something different, all those reasons and justifications for keeping things the way they are fall away. There is no "right" or "wrong" time to choose something different.  You choose it when you choose it.

The thing is, in this reality and world we're taught to judge ourselves as harshly as we can until we do choose what the world tells you should choose to make your life and the world a better place.  Question: Has judging you ever created the change you desired to create? For me, the answer to that is a big fat NO!  The more I judge myself, the more harshly I judge myself, I find the more I lock into place the things I've been telling myself I should change. Well what if I don't have to change anything. Ever.

Say whaaaaaaat?!

Yup. You don't have to change ANYTHING about you. EVER. It's just a choice.

What I've found to be true for me is that the only times I choose change, is when I'm truly inspired and lit up by what I'm aware of that the choice to change will create. 
For example: I don't need to change my body shape... What I can do is be in total allowance with it no matter what it looks like.  For me, it creates  much more ease and joy in my life when I'm not judging my body in any way at all, and just receive it. When I don't judge myself and my business, or "should" on myself about what I've been told I "should" be doing to have a successful business, I get to have greater awareness of what my business actually requires. I get to choose what would be most fun for me that will create the most.

Do you get that every time you judge yourself you contract you and how visible you are in the world? Do you get that every time you judge yourself you limit what you can receive AND you limit the gift you can be in the world.

This is not about a "cost/benefit comparison". It's about looking at what your choice to judge you incessantly is creating. And is it fun for you? Is it ease for you? Does it expand your life? Do you value making yourself small, insignificant, powerless, and impotent more than you value being your greatness, and infinite potency to create the life you desire with ease, joy, and glory?

And you know what...?

It's OK if you're not willing to choose the latter right now.  You don't have to choose to make your life look like it's come from the same cookie cutter as other people. You're not broken, bad, or wrong, because your life looks different.  You don't have to spend countless hours judging you and cutting bits off to try and make yourself look like you were cut from the same cookie cutter as those around you. But you can if you like. It's not wrong.

Just for today, just because you can, I invite you to get really aware about where you are judging the crap out of yourself and
get curious about what else would be possible for you if you didn't. You don't have to change anything. Just get kindly curious about it. 

For me, I've made the demand to stop judging myself for anything. I've made the demand of me to stop making judgment real, relevant, and significant. For me... now IS the time. I KNOW that I am a greater gift and contribution to the world when I stop judging
me and when I let go of making judgment real and relevant.  Are you willing to make that demand of you... no matter what it takes?

At this time of year, Christmas and New Year I mean, it can be very easy to get caught up in the hype, trauma, drama, and stories of people around us. The stress of buying presents, not buying presents, buying the food, cooking the meal, family relationships, over-eating, stressing about how you're going to pay for it all, and so on...

Question - How much of all that stuff is even yours?

I found myself stressing the hell out of myself this morning about money. I wouldn't mind, but I have more than enough money for this month and beyond! And yet... there I was panicking about how I was going to pay the council tax tomorrow.

Bring on the first of my favourite tools from Access Consciousness™ - who does that belong to!  This tool has been, and continues to be, such a gift to me. The moment I asked the question, I immediately felt relief. Awareness - OH! None of that was mine. Cool.  Now what else do I get to choose?

The thing is, when I first heard about that tool - I tried it. Sometimes it seemed to work, others it didn't. I realised that I was still hanging onto the point of view that if I was feeling it, it must be mine, and therefore must be true. Interesting point of view huh?

And that, my beautiful friends, is the second of my favourite tools from Access Consciousness ™ - Interesting point of view, I have that point of view. Everything is just a point of view. Our reality is created by our point of view. If we perceive everything as just an interesting point of view, without making it meaningful and significant, we get to choose whether to hang onto that point of view or not.  

So when I noticed I had the point of view that "if I'm feeling it, it must be mine" I just repeated "Interesting point of view... I have that point of view". No pressure to change it. No judgment of having it. Just acknowledging that it's an interesting point of view, and that I currently have that point of view.

The third of my favourites tools to share - Acknowledging.... I have found that when I don't acknowledge something I end up buggering myself over with it - and not in a good way! This, I've found, is especially true with awareness. If I don't acknowledge that I am immensely aware of what's going on around me AND in the whole world, I end up trying to function from other people's realities and points of view. And that beautiful people, will really screw you over!

So I invite you to play with these tools over the festive period - whether or not you celebrate "Christmas" and "New Year", you will still most definitely be aware of people who do and the insanity they function from. I wonder - is it really that much fun for you to keep functioning from other people's insane and fucked up realities and points of view?  

If you'd like to know more about these tools, you may like to visit www.accessconsciousness.com

What if this year you could have more ease than ever before? What if this year you played with these tools and Be'd the space of allowance to create and experience something even more delicious and fun-filled?

I'm off to grab a mince pie and glass of sherry... I wonder what else I can choose today that's fun for me? And what about you? What will YOU choose?
I've been playing recently with receiving. Cognitively I get that being willing to receive everything is an amazing contribution to relating my life.

And yet…

There are clearly still things I’m unwilling to receive, otherwise I’d have in my life many more of the things I would like to have.

So what is that? What is this unwillingness to receive some things, and only receive others. I could go into lots and lots of justifications and explanations of “why”. I call bullshit on that. What’s underlying that. I wonder what is the thing that I’m most unwilling to receive that if I would be willing to receive it would open up my receiving of everything to an even greater degree with even more ease?

You know, it’s judgment. I’m unwilling to receive judgment. Whether it’s judgment you would define as “positive” or “negative” or “good” or “bad”. I’ve realised I’m unwilling to receive judgment. So what’s that about? I wonder…

Judgment is bad, wrong, evil, contracting, unhelpful, limiting, unrequired, undesired, and, and, and….

Or is it?

What if judgment is just information?

Another thing that more recently I get more deeply, is that judgment isn’t real. As long as I make it real, I live at the effect of it. No matter whether it’s “positive” or “negative” judgment. When I'm functioning from the space of making judgment real, I’m always having to decide whether or not I should receive the judgment or not. The energy and time I have to put into evaluating each and every judgment as it arrives… That’s exhausting! And it’s totally distracting! AND it’s no fun at all!

I wonder… What’s it going to take for me to perceive, know, be, and receive all judgment as just information? As I write that line my whole world just opened up.

It’s just a choice.

Yes, yes, I know that can be one of the most searingly frustrating responses. I wonder how frustrated we allow ourselves to get before we are willing to choose something different?

So making that choice… Will it change overnight? Maybe… But probably not. So what if you would be in allowance of you and ALL your choices - past, present, and future. What if you could just keep choosing and be present with all your choices it becomes easier. A question you can ask when you’re choosing something “is this expanding or contracting my life?”.  When you’re functioning from receiving judgment as just information is that contracting or expanding your life? What’s true for you?

Making choices and being present with your choices is like a muscle. You have to exercise it for it to grow. The more you choose it, the easier and more natural it becomes. Are you willing to make the demand of you to commit to you, have your own back, and let go of judging you?

Is now the time? The time is now… Now is the time...
I don't know about you, but I often get my greatest awarenesses of things whilst I'm in the shower... and today was no exception.

I was thinking about some things in my life that appear not to have changed and that felt completely heavy and wonky for me. Hmmm... interesting! Being me, I asked a couple of questions:

- what is this?
- what do I know about this?

And then, boom.... there it is! A big fucking lie!

One of the many, many, many things I've come to be aware of since playing with the tools of Access Consciousness ® is that when something is not true for me it feels heavy, wonky, and contracted.

OK - so... it hasn't changed is a lie... interesting. And if it's not true, what is true?

Giving it a second... that, at the time, felt like a millennium.... boom - OH! if it's not true that it hasn't changed, then the truth is it HAS changed!  Bang!


Oh my goodness!

Well buggery fuck!

And if it has changed, putting my attention and point of view on "it hasn't changed" just keep re-creating the very thing that I desired to change in the first place.




How many things have I decided haven't changed because there were no bells, whistles, and rockets and blatantness happening when they did!?! And how many of those have I (and do I!!!) keep re-creating because I've not acknowledged they have changed, so I recreate them just to prove myself right that they haven't changed, that ultimately keeps me re-creating my life exactly as it is!

Now... I could choose to go into loads and loads of judgment of me for my lack of awareness, my previous unwillingness to ask a question, my tenacity to keep re-creating that which isn't fun for me.... Like I haven't chosen that a few billion times in the past!


I could choose something else. 

Time to knock that shit on the head. I'm choosing different!


My world expands again.

So from this space of acknowledging
that something has changed, more possibilities become available to me.

So what else has changed in my life, as a direct result of me asking for something different, that I have
not acknowledged, that if I would acknowledge it will create even more space, expansion, ease, joy, and yumminess in EVERY area of life my life as if by magic?

Oh, oh, oh... and what else can i acknowledge about my life today that I've not acknowledged before that if I would acknowledge it will give me more of me with total ease and deliciousness?

I wonder what possibilities and yumminess could show up for you if you would acknowledged ALL the change you've created in your life
Absolutely right. You can't lose weight.

What the fuck?! 

Truth: are you an infinite Being with physical body, or are you just a physical body?

For me, what feels true for me is that I am an infinite Being with a physical body. Taking that as our premise for this blog, who has the extra weight that you'd like to lose, you the infinite being or your physical  body? 

As an infinite Being, is there anywhere you are not? And is there anything you do not know? So if you the infinite being are everywhere and know everything, can you ever lose anything? 

Following a different perspective, does my body lose weight, or does it transform it's shape and mass? and what if my body can be any shape it would like to be? Indeed, have you even asked your body what shape it would like to be? What if the shape of your body has absolutely fuck all to do with how much it appears to weigh?

So when it comes to telling myself "I cannot lose weight" I am absolutely correct. So do I just give up and keep on judging myself as useless, fat, and unable to have the body I desire? Or do I ask some questions?  What I if I can also choose something different. what if I can let go of all my fixed points of view about weight, heaviness, body shape, and how easy it is to change and transform my physical body? What if I can ask my body what shape and weight IT desires? What if i can ask my body what it requires and desires to assist it to be the shape and weight it desires? What else is possible here that we've never even considered? What questions can you ask that will gift you more ease, communion, and joy with your physical body? But don't ever choose that eh... you might actually change the shape of your body with more ease than ever before than that would be really bad.
When it comes to committing to you and your life and what you would like to create as your life, have you committed to it yet? 

So many awarenesses and places this blog could go! 

I'm going to start with this one: where am I lying to myself!

So for the last 6 months to a year I've been asking the Universe to show me everywhere I'm lying to myself. Seems committing to me and my life is one of them! Damn - and I really thought I'd been doing that for the last 6 months too!

Rather than go into judgment of me, I asked a question - what's stopping me from committing to myself and my life? The awareness I had this morning: I'm waiting for it to be perfectly the way I would like it to be and then I'll commit. Doh! that's cute and not bright!

When you buy (or move into) a new home, you don't expect it to be perfect already right? You move in and change the decor and garden etc according to your taste and preferences after. It's very rare to find a home you can move straight into and it will be perfect from the very second you enter. For starters you still need to put your furniture in the places you'd like it to be. It's an ongoing process of enjoying your home.

 And have you ever noticed that it never stays "perfect"? Things require attention and maintenance. Things require cleaning and replacing. It never stays exactly the same. And what if this constant change IS perfection? Nothing ever really stays the same, much as we sometimes wish it would. That's the route to self-sabotage, stagnation, and self-destruction. Except we're infinite beings and can never be destroyed. Thus we can find ourselves sitting in a box that we created that we absolutely know is not fun. How long will we continue to choose that for? How long will we wait for things to change before we allow ourselves to create and have more fun?

What if committing to our life is part of this constant change and creation? And what if we let go of all the expectations about what our life "should" look like before we allow ourselves to enjoy it? What would that create for the world? What doors of possibilities would that open up? What would happen if we actually stopped judging our life as not perfect and/or "not quite perfect yet"?

Life is not something we create as "perfect' and then settle down to stagnate. Although I know it's possible to get caught up in that way of thinking.

So what happens next? We have this awareness and what do we do with it? What else is possible here beyond anything we've never considered before?

Are you willing to make the demand of you to commit to you and your life no matter what? Universe show me what my life would be like if I would totally commit to my life... What's it going to take to commit totally to my life? What amazing contribution would it be if I would commit totally to my life right away?

Is now the time for you to stop waiting for everything to be perfect and instead to acknowledge that everything is already perfection?

When it comes to creating your reality, whose points of view are you creating yours from?

Let me backtrack.

Our points of view are literally just that - our points of view. They create our own reality not other people's, and vice versa.

Bearing that in mind then, when someone tells you that there's something wrong with you, you get that it's just their point of view right?  The only time it ever becomes real for you is when you try to adopt that point of view as your own and try make it your reality. You cannot share the same reality with anyone else. EVER. So is the only things that are ever "wrong" with you are the things you've bought as true.

"wrongness" is just a point of view, and it's a judgment. And judgments are never real. 

So how many other peoples' points of view and judgments about you have you bought as your own that are not really true for you? How much are you trying to create your life from other people's points of view that are not true for you, so they don't actually work, and then you blame yourself? 

What's true for you? Have you ever questioned what you believe are you points of view about you, your life, and your reality?  Take a moment and bring to mind a point of view you have about you that you've believed is a wrongness about you - doesn't matter what it is. Does it feel light and spacious/expansive or heavy and contracted/limited to you? 

What's true for you will always feel light, and what's not true for you will always feel heavy.

What if there is nothing wrong with you? What if there never has been anything wrong with you? What if you don't need to keep buying as your own other people's points of view about you or themselves? 

Who would you be and how would your life be different if you were totally aware of what's true for you and created your life from that space? But don't do that - you might have too much fun!
When it comes to you and your business, have you decided what kinds of people you will and will not work with?

Now it may well seem sensible and a good idea to be picky about who you will work with.

For instance, you may choose never to work with convicted criminals, or people who earn below a certain amount of money, or people who come from a particular background, or black people, or americans, or gay people, or disabled people, or men, or women, or people below or above a certain age.

What criteria are you using? And how is that contributing to your business? Is it working well for you? 

Now this blog is not about the rights and wrongs of discrimination. It's about getting you to be aware of the criteria you are using that could well be limiting just how successful your business AND life is.  

What? Whoa now. Wait a minute! Did I just say "life"? 

You betcha sweet ass I did!

People use criteria to choose who they will and will not gift and receive contribution to and from in all areas of their life - whether they are aware of it or not. What if you had no criteria at all? What if you had no judgment? What if you were willing to gift and receive to and from everyone and everything? Bearing in mind - being willing does not mean you have to choose it. 

You see here's the thing..... if you have a set of criteria that keeps "convicted criminals" from your life and business, what about someone who's convicted for shoplifting because he/she was trying to feed his/her family? What about someone who took drugs in their youth and was convicted for it but never done it since? what about someone who's been to court for being bankrupt? What about someone who was convicted wrongly for a crime and was later found not guilty?

Do you see? If you carte blanche say no to people with convictions - who are you cutting out of your life and business who could be a phenomenal contribution to you?

This is where it gets even more whacky... how many lifetimes have you been and done all the things you have decided in this life you will not have in your life? How many lifetimes have you been rich, poor, murdered, raped, been a woman, or a man, been a catholic, been a muslim, been american, been a lesbian, been black and so on.... What if there is nothing you have not been or done in some form in other lives you've had? And what if that's the same for EVERYONE? So if everyone has done all the things in one lifetime or another that you've now decided you will not receive in this life, how many people can come to you to gift and receive contribution to and from you?

Now you may well have a preference for working with a particular group of people - and that's totally cool. Great stuff! What if that doesn't preclude you working with others if that would create something awesome and phenomenal for everyone involved?

Are you willing to ask the question: what criteria am I using to limit from whom and how much I can gift and receive?

You see it's not until you're aware of what criteria you're using that you can start to be aware of whether that is actually contributing to or limiting your life.

What else would be possible for you, your life, and your business if you didn't use selection criteria to be the ultimate decider about whether you will or will not gift to or receive from someone or something?  What else would be possible for you if you were willing to gift to and receive from everyone and everything?

So let me leave you with the question again.... what criteria am I using to limit from whom and how much I can gift and receive ?

You remember how it feels when you start a new job that you really wanted? Excited to be starting something new. Proud of yourself for having got through the interview and selection process. Slightly in doubt about whether you can really do the job at all. Slightly worried about what your new colleagues will be like. Hopeful that your boss doesn't turn out to be a complete arse. Feeling great that you'll be earning more money. Looking forward to learning new skills and honing the ones you have. 

Well..... that's how I'm kind of feeling today! It's a similar feeling I had when I left the corporate world of Banking and Human Resources to start my own business. Ironically I still have my own business. 

I was wondering to myself this morning about why I'm feeling this way. I haven't started a new job. Or have I? So I started asking some questions (thank goodness for Access Consciousness and the gift of Gary Douglas and Dain Heer!).

  • What is this?
  • What can I do with it?
  • What's right about this I'm not getting?
  • What else is possible?
  • What contribution is this to my life?
  • What am I choosing?
  • What am I creating?
  • If I continue choosing and creating this, what will my life be like in 5 years?
  • If I don't continue choosing and creating this, what will my life be like in 5 years?

I got the awareness that I'm choosing and creating something greater. I also remembered that I had been asking lots of questions last year about creating something greater and changing my life from creating the same old crap, year after year. I had almost begun despairing that things didn't appear to be changing.... except.... they were. It's just that a) it wasn't completely obvious how they were changing and b) the change isn't showing up at all how I excepted it to! Does it ever?!

I wonder how often we give up on something we're choosing to create or change because it doesn't appear to change quickly enough or show up the way we expected it? Ever done that? Then we have the tendency to slip into the belief that "it just wasn't meant to happen". Or even worse, we judge ourselves as a failure, being stupid and a failure at everything we do. Ever been there? And how heavy does that feel? It's a big lie that's why it feels heavy!

You know what I've realised over my life is that it's that moment when we're just about to give up that we need to keep going. Digging for miles to give up with just a few inches left until breakthrough... 

And that's why I love the Access Consciousness tools, questions, and processes. They help me have such ease with creating my life. One of the greatest things I've got from Access Consciousness (and there are many many things I have got and continue to get from it) is always being in the question.

What is this? What can I do with it? Can I change it? If so how do I change it? What else is possible? How can it get any better than this?

These are just some of the questions that I use every day. They create more available possibilities for me. And you know what? The more I choose to create more, question more, and Be more, the greater the contribution I am to the world. 

So yes, I've got a new role. Being me in totality! I wonder if you would like to Be you in totality too? I wonder what a gift and contribution that would be for you and the world if you were to choose it? Like to know how to do that? Ask some questions... and if you need help with that, either contact me for a session or popover to the Access Consciousness website where you can find all sorts of information and free videos to help you begin changing your life with ease.

Let me leave you with these questions:

If you would choose to be you in totality, who would you Be and how would your life be different?
If you would choose to be you in totality, what contribution could that be to you, your life, your living, and your reality?
If you would choose to be you in totality, how much more fun could you have in your life?


Backing up


Backing up.... a great idea for our computers and files. I've been there myself where I haven't backed up data and it's caused me hours of recreation of things! So... backing up is a great idea and essential, yes? For everything? I wonder....

I received a spammy email in my inbox this morning entitled "back up your life". The moment I read those words a whole heap of awareness flashed through my mind causing me to say quite loudly "Oh buggery fuck!". Why did that cause consternation you may wonder?  

Well in that nanosecond of reading that email title I had the awareness that I've had this energetic programme running on default that backs up everything I experience. That way, my Being would never forget or miss a single experience, thus ensuring
  •  that I have access to everything that's every happened to me
  • that I remember every wonderful experience and so can appreciate them more
  • that I remember every "mistake" I've ever made thus ensuring I never make the same one again
  • that I remember who I am so that I can "know my place and purpose in life"
  • I can continue to grow and not do the same things more than once thinking that I'm doing them for the first time
  • that I have something to reflect back over to guide me in how to create my life going forward

There's so much limitation in that for me! I also realised I have another energetic programme running that each day restores any older information that got deleted or changed the day before. Sounds sensible... except... what if that data is no longer relevant or is found to be inaccurate? And what if it was never relevant or accurate at all?!

Do we really want to keep trying to create our lives by reflecting upon the past? What if we can create our lives in the moment by being aware of what possibilities exist for us right now? What if each choice we make creates and opens up different possibilities? 

I realised how much importance, relevance, significance, and meaning we place upon past events to guide us in creating our present and future. No wonder change can sometimes take so fucking long if all we're doing is rehashing old backups from the past!

And look at the words themselves "back up". Back up. BACK UP. In other words... go backwards! Nooooo! Now of course you might want to back up your car if it's about to drop into a ditch! But in the case of "backing up your life" do you really want to keep backing up to a previous place of less awareness and choice?

Would you be willing to delete and destroy ALL backups you've taken for this life and ALL your lives wherever they have been? And would you be willing to delete and destroy ALL backups of backups and ALL other "failsafes" you've put in place for this life and ALL your lives wherever they have been?

What would your life be like if you would be willing to function and create your life from pure energy, space, and consciousness ? Are you willing to create and choose your life from limitless possibilities?